I am still in astonishment that I am writing as often as I do now. When I started this blog, I was not sure how consistent I would be. How many pieces I would write. Or even what I would write.

Yes, I had warmed up for writing for several years before and that gave me some confidence. But still, I had not written for many years prior. In fact, I don’t think I wrote anything between ages 12 to 25. 13 years! So, I definitely lacked the writing experience.

In addition to that, I don’t think I am as good a reader as I should be. It is only in recent months that I am forcing myself into the habit of reading daily. This is the result of my struggles to establish this habit for the past two years or so, when I read consistently at times and did not read at all at other times. Before that, I probably read one book a year or none. So, I lacked the reading background as well.

But I had one thing: the inspiration trying to flow through me since I was a child. The inspiration that found a way out in writing before age 12. But the inspiration that I blocked constantly after that.

For this blog, I could only trust my inspiration because that was the only thing I had. And I did.

But that did not help me get rid of the thought that I would mess it up. I was thinking that I would be inconsistent and my inspiration would not flow as much as I wanted it to.

Well, I guess I did not. Not so much. This is mainly due to the unexpected experiences I have had so far. For example:

I am consistent: I never thought I could write short stories as often as I do (one every two-three days). This blog gave me a reason and an urge to write them. To let the inspiration flow. I started having ideas from even the smallest things. I was not expecting that. For me, this was the measure of success and that gave me more confidence.

I meet people that view the world similarly: I am still surprised at how many people there are out here that understand each other well. I was not aware that bloggers formed this kind of connection. I am still trying to get used to this but I have to say, I like it. This is another reason that helps me keep blogging.

I started feeling the power of words: I am not a very literary person. Well, maybe my academic background has something to do with this. But as I read people’s posts, I see how beautifully written they are. How deep they are. How much emotion they convey. How much they can help people theoretically or practically. How they can give a sense of sameness of experiences, thoughts and emotions. All posts are gifts from one person to the other. I am not sure if I was expecting this either. And I am definitely liking this.

All in all, my muse wanted to come back to life more energetically, after a 13 years of sleep, with this blog. It is now reflecting its energy with the constant ideas it is giving me.

May it never sleep again.


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