Thank you for sharing!!.. as I explore and live life I do not feel the need to “belong”… if I am accepted that is fine but I will not ignore happiness nor my heart’s calling to belong to something I may not wish to be part of to begin with… 🙂
“The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no man has ever been before.” Francis Phillip Wernig
I think belonging is relative to a goal. It seems as though everyone needs to belong, but it only seems that way because most people have relatively similar wants, needs, and desires.
One issue with belonging is what group you’re belonging to. Clearly groups can nurture or destroy us depending on what the group is into. Another issue is what you’re trying to accomplish. For many people, self-reliance is an important goal to hit, and belonging oddly works directly against self-reliance as a goal.
Belonging also requires trust that a lot people don’t have. There can’t be meaningful belonging if a person isn’t willing to place themselves (at some level) in the hands of others. But many of us have life experiences that actively teach us that this is unwise & dangerous. People have good reasons not to trust others, based on their backgrounds!
It’s surprising to me how little of being human is really universal.
Good points! I agree that there will always be dangers with belonging and it should serve us some good. But if we assume the opposite world where we are all fully individual, that is a lot more harmful to us than belonging and getting some harm. Even a few months of isolation does great harms on our mental health. So, I still think we have a universal need or belonging. Maybe it is the patterns of belonging that is universal. But there is a lot to be careful about, as you point out.
Look at Gernan history…..how killing one group of people unites the others
Even having an enemy unites people.But we must belong somewhere or we will be very sad
The older I get, the less I desire to belong to anything but my husband and my self – my true, authentic self. I’ve never been one to follow the crowd (someone replied with a well-known quote about this) but now I not only don’t follow, I try to go the other way!
No, I can’t say that. It’s more like I never really align with other people. I’m at peace with myself and never really settled around others. But, more practically, I often just don’t want to go where other people want to go!
If that works for you, why not? It is always better to go with what you yourself want! For me, I sometimes align with people but I have my boundaries. I don’t reconcile on those things.
To Write or not to Write and What to Write 
we all are part of the universal soul….
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Yes, we are!
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Yes, at heart we all want to belong and feel we are liked, loved and wanted.
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True!
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Thank you for sharing!!.. as I explore and live life I do not feel the need to “belong”… if I am accepted that is fine but I will not ignore happiness nor my heart’s calling to belong to something I may not wish to be part of to begin with… 🙂
“The man who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The man who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no man has ever been before.” Francis Phillip Wernig
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Good approach!
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Some nice ruminations 🙂
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🙂
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I think belonging is relative to a goal. It seems as though everyone needs to belong, but it only seems that way because most people have relatively similar wants, needs, and desires.
One issue with belonging is what group you’re belonging to. Clearly groups can nurture or destroy us depending on what the group is into. Another issue is what you’re trying to accomplish. For many people, self-reliance is an important goal to hit, and belonging oddly works directly against self-reliance as a goal.
Belonging also requires trust that a lot people don’t have. There can’t be meaningful belonging if a person isn’t willing to place themselves (at some level) in the hands of others. But many of us have life experiences that actively teach us that this is unwise & dangerous. People have good reasons not to trust others, based on their backgrounds!
It’s surprising to me how little of being human is really universal.
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Good points! I agree that there will always be dangers with belonging and it should serve us some good. But if we assume the opposite world where we are all fully individual, that is a lot more harmful to us than belonging and getting some harm. Even a few months of isolation does great harms on our mental health. So, I still think we have a universal need or belonging. Maybe it is the patterns of belonging that is universal. But there is a lot to be careful about, as you point out.
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Look at Gernan history…..how killing one group of people unites the others
Even having an enemy unites people.But we must belong somewhere or we will be very sad
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Yes, the need to belong can cause big problems and it has. I believe it is not a bad thing in its nature but it can be manipulated.
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Yes, we do need it.
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Hello, I have nominated you for the Mystery Blogger Award.
Kindly, respond when you have time. Thank you!
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Thank you! I will take it:)
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The older I get, the less I desire to belong to anything but my husband and my self – my true, authentic self. I’ve never been one to follow the crowd (someone replied with a well-known quote about this) but now I not only don’t follow, I try to go the other way!
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Do you go the other way despite yourself? If you align with other people, i mean?
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No, I can’t say that. It’s more like I never really align with other people. I’m at peace with myself and never really settled around others. But, more practically, I often just don’t want to go where other people want to go!
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If that works for you, why not? It is always better to go with what you yourself want! For me, I sometimes align with people but I have my boundaries. I don’t reconcile on those things.
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