She had found what she had been seeking for a long time today. For probably all the time she lived. The peace.
She had looked for peace in jobs. If she got that job that everyone envied, peace would be there. She got the job but not the peace. It was not the full package, unfortunately.
Maybe the peace was in people. She surrounded herself with people that were always around. Tight little family, many friends, a few romantic partners. They gave her peace at times, but it was never consistent.
She got glimpses of the peace, though. These happened when she was too tired to do anything. When she tried too hard to get a good job but could not do it for a long time. Then, there came a moment when she just let it go. As if she was telling God that she was ok with wherever He takes her. At those moments, she gave up because she did not have the strength anymore rather than she wanting to stop trying. But also, those moments were when she could taste a bit of the peace she was seeking.
Recently, she had been tasting the peace more frequently. She did not want the energy to fight anymore. She just did her portion of the job and that is it. She left it there. No concerns regarding the present or the future. That was the flow.
Yes, she had finally realized where the peace was hiding: In the flow.